Baby Crisis

I'm going to start out with 2 dreams I had while taking a Psychology of Parenting class. I was also training at the Hope Pregnancy Resource Center so babies were on my mind a lot, I suppose.

The first dream started with me having the baby. I was single so I really didn't feel like I had the resources to take care of a baby at the time. I decided that I would put the baby up for a closed adoption. I really had thought about the options in the dream and felt like that was the right decision for the baby. I guess then it was kind of a "1 year later" type thing, and I was walking around a grocery store. I saw the women who adopted my baby and an adorable toddler sitting in the cart. I immediately went up to them and asked how they were. I asked the mom if I could hold my child and she quickly said no and started speed walking away. I just started balling in the grocery store, realizing that I had given up such a precious piece of myself and could never even be around her. I regretted my decision so intensely and wanted the chance to go back and keep the baby, doing whatever was needed to provide for her. I woke up shortly after that completely distraught.

The dream was so powerful because I know there are women who have actually been in this situation or one like it. I felt like it gave me a tiny glimpse of what someone would feel like in that situation and the pain that would come with both having to make that decision and dealing with the emotional consequences after.

Something that I value a lot is feeling as closely as I can what another human being is feeling. Even if you go through almost the exact experience as another person, you will still not know how they are feeling about it. However, I do not feel like we have to go through every difficult thing in the world to be able to relate. It seems more like a matter of listening and having a desire to feel another's pain so be able to go through the experience with them as much as possible. Plus, you don't have to be a psychologist or counselor to listen to someone. You are completely qualified to listen if you are willing to actually hear and care.

The 2nd baby dream will be blogged and at your fingertips in a matter of days =)

Thanks for reading!

Starting a new blog...

Ok so here's the thing. If you look at my past blogs, you will quickly see that I did not stick with them (my largest blog maxing out at 4 blogs- WOW) So, I'm not saying this one will either lol.

The aim of this blog, however, is selfishly driven in order to get myself back into the advocacy games. It's not about any particular issue, even though I might dwell on one for a while; it's about a variation of topics. Topics are chosen by how much they cause my heart to race and my anger to rise at the injustice, WHICH MEANS that this blog will probably include a lot of personal ranting on subjects that I have only skimmed the service on but am talking about like my hands are elbows deep in that certain injustice's muck.

Also, some topics are somewhat chosen for me. I'm one of those people who have very vivid and memorable dreams and will launch into telling everyone the entire, nonsensical story because I think people want to hear it. I do know, however, that people DO NOT want to hear them. BUT there are a few that have caused me to think about a different situation differently because it became more real to me in a dream so you'll have to bear through those. (Or don't cause no one's making you read my blog. But I appreciate it if you do =))

There are no goals or hopes for this blog really, so please don't have expectations. I hope you are always pleasantly surprised!